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hijk277
V.İ.P uye
Kayıt: 25 Nis 2009
Mesajlar: 1037
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 Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident wer |
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Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court.
In court, the trucking company?s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.
"Didn?t you say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"
"Well, I?ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the--"
"I didn?t ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"
"Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and was driving down the road--"
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"Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine.
Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."
By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe?s answer and told the lawyer so.
"Well," said the farmer, "as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side.
I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn?t want to move.
However, I could hear ol? Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.
Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me.
He said, "Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?"
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| Çrş Oca 13, 2010 5:23 pm |
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qrst172
V.İ.P uye
Kayıt: 19 May 2009
Mesajlar: 2361
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| My Three Daughters |
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There was a father who was very proud of his three daughters. Every night he took a stroll around the house to make sure everything was all right. One night when he was doing his stroll, he could hear laughter coming from his youngest daughter`s room. He stood there for a while and thought about this, but reached the conclusion that he could always ask her tomorrow, instead of bothering her at this time of the night. When he reached the window of his second daughter, he could hear her crying. He thought about this too, but ultimately he decided to ask her tomorrow and continued. There were no sounds at all coming from his oldest daughter`s room, and he then went to bed, satisfied. The next day, when they all were gathered around the breakfast table, he said to his youngest daughter, "I heard you laughing last night, as I walked past your window. Why was that?" She answered, "That`s because you taught me to laugh when someone was making me happy." He then asked his second daughter, "I heard you crying last night, why was that?" She answered "That`s because you taught me to cry when someone was hurting me." He then told his oldest daughter, "I didn`t hear anything from you..." She said, "That`s because you taught me not to talk with my mouth full."
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| Sal Oca 19, 2010 6:09 pm |
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qrst172
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Kayıt: 19 May 2009
Mesajlar: 2361
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| A mother mouse |
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A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.
Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life. Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand々 the value of a second language?"
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| Çrş Oca 20, 2010 8:06 am |
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qrst172
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Kayıt: 19 May 2009
Mesajlar: 2361
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| sandwiches |
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There is this guy and this girl and they want to have sex.
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So they go to the girls house and before entering the girl stops the guy and says.
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"My little sister sleeps on the bottom bunk of our bunk bed and I do not want her to know what we are doing, so when I say `baloney`
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it means push harder, and when I say `pastrami` it means push slower."
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With this the two get onto the top bunk and have sex. First, the girl moans, "baloney,baloney,baloney" then shouts "pastrami,pastrami,pastrami" and then back to "baloney,baloney,baloney" Finally, the girls sister says "Will you guys quit making sandwiches up there, you`re getting mayonaise all over me!"
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| Çrş Oca 20, 2010 8:29 am |
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qrst172
V.İ.P uye
Kayıt: 19 May 2009
Mesajlar: 2361
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| Just then the blonde flips the alligator on it's back, and f |
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A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home,when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank.
Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement.
Just then the blonde flips the alligator on it's back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
This post works as a $10.00 discount coupon for any purchase of a 2nd pair of shoes, just quote coupon code
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| Prş Oca 21, 2010 9:22 pm |
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qrst172
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Kayıt: 19 May 2009
Mesajlar: 2361
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The Mean Man's Party
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
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| Pzr Oca 31, 2010 1:22 am |
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qrst172
V.İ.P uye
Kayıt: 19 May 2009
Mesajlar: 2361
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| please come in |
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What do you want in a Man?"
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,or "What do you want in a girl?"
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,isoften the question to the boy or girl who is seeking for his/herpartner.
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,When you are young your standards are set very high,
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,however,as you age, you will have to lower your standards a bit and a bit and abit...I came across this joke today.
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, It’s absolutely hilarious yetbrutally true。
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| Pts Şub 01, 2010 6:36 pm |
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qrst172
V.İ.P uye
Kayıt: 19 May 2009
Mesajlar: 2361
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| Time Is Money |
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Osama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that’s 3 together." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said,” It’s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said,” Wow! That’s a big bridge...Fill it with water!!!
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| Çrş Şub 03, 2010 8:59 pm |
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qrst172
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Kayıt: 19 May 2009
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| v Hot Sports News- Generous Grants from maxltd.com.au!!!-030 |
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>
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>
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Breakers recruit American guardJanuary 12, 2010
NZPA
The New Zealand Breakers basketball team have signed American Kevin Braswell for the remainder of the NBL season.
The 30-year-old's most recent home was with the Elitzur Maccabi Netanya club in the Israel Premier league.
He arrived in New Zealand on Tuesday and is expected to take the court in Thursday's home game against the Melbourne Tigers.
Braswell's signing is a timely boost for the Breakers as they begin the final seven games of the regular season, four of which are at home.
The Breakers, who will be without swingman Tom Abercrombie for up to four weeks because of an ankle injury, need to win at least five of those games if they are to feature in post-season action.
"With Tom out for maybe the rest of the season we needed another guard to shore up that part of the roster and allow us to rotate others into the two and three spots," head coach Andrej Lemanis said.
"Kevin can play point or shooting guard which gives us versatility to swing CJ (Bruton) in the two spot to become more of an aggressive scorer.
Lemanis remains positive about his team's chances of playing in the playoffs, despite many having written the Breakers off.
"The formula is in our favour with four of seven games at home," the coach said.
"For us it is simple, win our home games and grab at least one on the road and we will be in the mix.
"In this league you just never know what might happen but we believe we can still achieve our goals.
"The challenge begins on Thursday against the Tigers."
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| Sal Şub 09, 2010 9:05 am |
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